pon de replay
pon de floor
pon mah french
pon time no see
- David (hangs up the phone with some insurance lady): God, that was so easy! Every question answered! One phone call. And she was so nice.
- Me: Did you get her number?
- David: What?
- Me: Did you get her digits, David?
- David: To hook up?
Sometimes I go through every picture on an acquaintance’s facebook and wonder why they always have to look like fuck shit.
Here are some tips, shit ass:
- Stop cutting your own hair. In my opinion, if you’re going to have an asymmetrical haircut, make sure the short side would look good if it were on the other side of your berserk head too. Generally speaking, you need a professional to do this. If not, find a bitch in cosmetology school, she knows more than you do.
- Take a fucking bath.
- Wash your clothes.
- In fact, stop getting clothes exclusively from Goodwill. I’m not anti-thrift, but for fuck’s sake. Holes and stains in your shirt? Live on the street. There’s an open space in the shade of the dumpster now, Szechuan moved his tent behind the old abandoned theme park.
Furthermore, I can’t believe this bitch is getting fucked regularly. Gives me hope since I wash my ass at least.