September 2011
34 posts
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August 2011
27 posts
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The most important song I ever learned to play
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How many pita chips do I have to eat before my...
?
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Dear Morgan,
drinkyourjuice:
remember when we made this joke?
All of my love, Christine
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Four-year old: My mom went to fix her teeth because it's dirty
Me: Oh
Four-year old: Then they gave me everything I wanted
Me: Wow
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I know I'm getting depressed when Neopets can't...
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Found this while making sure I was spelling... →
Basically a dude cheats on his wife at a “massage parlor”, gets paranoid and finds cysts on his dick that are probably harmless, and writes a seven-paragraph-long fucking thing to a doctor saying that he thinks he contracted HPV.
My favorite things are when the doctor says, “Avoid extramarital sex” and when another dude responds saying HE cheated on his wife too, and thank...
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Vic: We should-
Dee: Kiss*
Vic: ... create neopets accounts
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Fucking God
Me (at check-in): So have you stayed here before?
Guest: No, not here, but we stayed at the one across from you guys.. Actually, that's where my daughter was conceived.
Me, horrified: Oh.
Guest: Heh.. I guess that's a lot of.. information..
Me (bad at masking true feelings): Oh, no, it's.. totally fine..
deevseverything asked: So Vic told me you made that popular "house rules" picture that circulates tumblr a lot, and I'd just like to thank you
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3rd class-business math: same group as the first class but the one black kid in...
– bringtheruckuss: my day substitute teaching at a private christian school
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bringtheruckuss asked: of course you're one of them. you're the perfect human being. like jesus with really big cans.
-: Had a Real New York Moment™ tonight →
drinkyourjuice:
[exiting the subway] Some teenager: Hey sexy.
[ten feet out of the subway station] Guy in his 30s: Have a good night, beautiful.
[rounding the corner to my block] Some old dude: Smile, precious. Show them pretty teeth. Me: Oh FUCK you.
I don’t tend to read a ton of feminist stuff on the internet, but I saw one thing the other month that really stuck with me and I’m going to...