Suss just sent me 18 texts between 11:43 AM and 12:58 PM and I am going to transcribe each of them here
11:43 AM - [Redacted], I want your wet pussy on my shower cap 11:57 AM - I want to strum your wet pussy like it were the guitar to my heart. I want your wet pussy to quack like a duck into my ears. I want your wet pussy to rain on my drought 12:02 PM - I want your wet pussy to floss my teeth and remove all the plaque. 12:03 PM - Does your wet pussy protect teeth from halitosis? 12:04 PM - How about from gum disease? 12:06 PM - I want your wet pussy to tap dance over my tongue and burrow itself into my hairy unbathed arms. I want to fall asleep caressing and petting your wet pussy with my calloused fingertips. 12:07 PM - I want to read your wet pussy with my fingertips like Braille 12:11 PM - I want to choke on your wet pussy. I want to gag on your wet pussy. I want to drown in your wet pussy. I want your wet pussy to suffocate me. I want your wet pussy to cut my life into pieces. 12:14 PM - I like talking about your wet pussy even before 9am 12:14 PM - Next time I’d like to talk into the crevices of your wet pussy. 12:15 PM - I want my voice to echo off the cavernous walls of your wet pussy 12:44 PM - Im watching YouTube vids of anime paired to Spanish songs 12:45 PM - You should really think about blocking my #. Because texting you about your wet pussy might be my most favorite thing ever 12:50 PM - I love Mr Saxobeat. I dont even care 12:58 PM - I want a tuna sandwich!!!
And that concludes the story of the most annoying person I know.
lets get married. we dont have to like, be "in love" we just have to be in "regular love" and i got alot of reuglar love for you. and like, we dont HAVE to have sex even though i highly recommend it and you can have as many partners as you like or just one, whatever. but i think you'd agree that we would be a britichin married couple. we could start a school of fine arts and that where we teaches them art and music and offer courses in like, sexuality, acceptance, body issues,reguar chattingclas
“The first time I thought you were gay was when you were 3 and you were playing with the Bride and Groom figurines that went at the top of my wedding cake. They were fused together and you made me saw them in half so you could just play with the woman.”—Mom (via wamiv-)
Hey not to get all real with y’all but someone approached me last night asking to collaborate for a music project he’s working on and I just thought I’d put it out there that I am so down for collaborationz, AND SO
I don’t know how many of you are musically inclined but if y’all ever wanna work on something from across the nation via the internet with me you can reach me AGAIN at firstname.lastname@example.org forever
Should I go to this party tonight with coworkers and get shwasted for free or stay home, watch netflixs, order a pizza and eat my feelings?
Party: Drinking on feelings might not be a good idea but there is the potential to form real grood bonds with other humans and therefore give you a sense of “Oh Earth is so magic” and ya know, get rid of any damn unpretty feelings
I can't think of anything funny or insightful to say, I just wanted to get in on this shit
Okay so sex can be pretty cool if you do allow “‘Round Midnight” by Thelonious Monk to be the backdrop of that experience (can you achieve orgasm in three minutes and fifty-two seconds? Challenge yourself!) or you could cut out the middle man and just rub one out and come on a copy of Kind of Blue, WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO KNOW is what I need to know